I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
