I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize