No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
