3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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