Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
ttyl tear gas
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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