I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
