So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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