My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
