my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
