the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize