We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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