What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
