I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i drank out of a bidet.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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