$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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