Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
