My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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