I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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