this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
