somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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