I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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