Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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