I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
