i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
