I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
