Got a toothbrush?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
