Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
