Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
