tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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