so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
