He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She announced her abortion via fbk
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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