So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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