actually, I'm a sock model
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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