Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
