i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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