What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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