4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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