I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
