I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
