i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
