Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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