he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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