Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Ladies don't puke and tell
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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