are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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