Dude my mom stole all your condoms
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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