We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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