I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
