She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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