Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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