Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
