Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
