I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
