i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize