you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
