When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
