Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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