i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize