Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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