Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
