He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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