please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
don't judge my taste in strippers
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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