the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
