so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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