2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
