I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
