ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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