FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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