i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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