i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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