guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
