Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
