i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
