i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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