Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
