let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
