where am i from again
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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